Common Adoption Misconceptions

• That's how every mother would feel. Your desire to assure your child's happiness and safety is very responsible. As a mother you want to ensure that your baby will be cared for, loved, and protected.
• You have the right to choose who your child's adoptive parents will be and how much contact you would like to have with the child.
• Adoption policies and practices related to how much information can be shared between birth families and adoptive families have changed over the years. You can give as little or as much information as you would like.

• There is an intense screening process for adoptive parents (physical and mental health, history of substance abuse, education, financial status, employment history, property, and income).

• No one would ever encourage a mother to abandon a child. Adoption is actually a way for a mother to plan for someone to parent the child. It is an unselfish plan for her child at great cost to herself.
• You will experience some grief and loss, but knowing that you did what was best for the child will help you through the feelings.

• If you are feeling this way, you may already have feelings for this baby. You want your baby to have a good life. A good mother is someone who puts her child's care above her own. A good mother is not focused on herself but rather what is best for her child.
• You can get to know different families and pick one that you think would be the best for your child. You can even choose to keep in contact with them forever if you wanted.

• A young birth mother once said, "I'm not giving my baby up, I'm giving her more." There is no other way to say it, abortion leads to death and adoption gives life. If you already feel a little attached to your baby abortion is going to be difficult for you.
• Abortion may seem easier because the procedure is over quickly, but the fact that you had a baby and choose to end its life could affect you in ways that you did not anticipate. In fact many have struggled with their decision for years following the abortion.

• If you care about your baby, you should think about adoption as an option. Placing your child with an adoptive family is a very loving and caring act. You are saying that I care about my child and want to provide for him/her a family and a life that I wouldn't have been able to provide on my own.

• The truth is, you will never forget you have a child. When a woman is pregnant she releases a chemical called oxytosin, which allows her to bond with her baby. This makes it difficult for women to choose adoption because of the bond she and the child have, but it also will make it very difficult for her to forget she has a child.
• Receiving counseling before and after you place a child in an adoptive family is important. You will experience many emotions and you will need to get help to know how to deal with these emotions. Counseling is usually offered free to any birth parent before and after an adoption process.

• Studies show that adopted children are no more likely to develop problems than biological children are.
• Studies also show that adoptive children do better in school and other areas than single parent children.

• Many people who have been adopted feel thankful that their birth mothers chose to give them life.
• Many times a birthparent(s) writes a letter to her child explaining why this loving decision was made.
• You can stay in contact with the child through open adoption. You can be involved in the child's life as long as you would like.

• A bad mother is someone who doesn't put her child first but thinks only of her own needs. A good mother does the opposite; she thinks of her child's needs first, and that is exactly what kind of mother chooses adoption. One who is concerned about her child's happiness and well-being.
• Don't believe other people who say this. They most likely don't know much about adoption.

• It is beneficial for the birth father to be involved in the adoptive process if possible. It is better if both the birth mother and birth father sign over their parental rights in order to avoid problems in the future. If he has objected to the adoption or expresses a desire to parent this child, the adoption process can continue, but he can appeal the adoption through the court. If this happens, you would have to prove why he should not parent this child. So, it important that you are both together on this.
• If your parents or your boyfriend's parents are against placing your child for adoption, you should know that in Ohio there are no Grandparent Rights.
• Bringing your mother or boyfriend to counseling sections on adoption may help them learn more about adoption and change their opinion. Many people have misinformation about adoption and if they receive correct information, they may see the benefits for the baby and for you.